How to Kill Your Enemy

This is the first ever post for my How-To series which I have successfully conceptualized last night, thus, the change in my blog header image, along with its subtitle. No, I’m not promoting violence here. No kicking below the belt!

The luxury of destroying an enemy is an art that few people were able to successfully master. It’s indeed a very old art. If you got yourself into a type of revenge but with no success, this is an opportunity for you to meet one of the few Filipinos who was called upon to subdue and neutralize the evil around him and is now ready to teach you the potent power of this art – me.

Yes, nothing else, but me. I was very fortunate to live in an environment surrounded by b*stards and tons of idiots which I think have contributed, in one way or the other, in my effortless development of this precious skill. Now, let me summarize my age old formula for keeping the b*tches dragging themselves on the ground asking for my truly inspiring forgiveness.

• Eyes on The Prize. Never allow your enemies to derail you. If you want something, get it by all means and never let them negatively influence your actions. The only acceptable influence they can do is for you to keep on your tract and hit your target while leaving them behind. Make it your daily mantra, like an ingrown-nail smelling addiction that is hard to let go.
• Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer. The world is full of b*tches. Running may give you a temporarily relief but it will cause you more harm than good. Give them a good fight by letting them know that your feet is not just ON the ground, but IN the ground! Tell them that you are  a humanized ascaris waiting to devour their as*! Giving up is like telling the whole world that you are vulnerable and ready to be punched at their convenience. Your enemies are a reflection of your true self, they exist because they are see your inner weakness and strength. You will never consider them as such if they’re not hitting your “low” part, will you? Sun Tzu’s  The Art of War can help. Forget about the monthly grocery supplies at home, buy the book instead!
• Use Your Influence. Build your own empire and make it strong! Friends vs. Friends, that’s how politics work. Obviously, you need strong armament and riffles to fight, and they come in handy with your loyal network. If you have a loving and loyal followers, they’ll surely come for help.
• Join Them. If you can’t beat them, join them. True. Once you’re inside, then hit them hard! lol! What I mean is, know your enemies more than they know you. The devil works by testing your weakness and will pull you non-stop until you’re down. As a vivid example, if I’ll ever dare Manny Pacquiao for a fight, I won’t even try fighting with him inside the ring, I’ll probably compete with him on a science quiz bee or vowel pronunciation game featuring the word “magnolia” and “milk” emphasizing the vowels “o” and “i” respectively. Every wrong pronunciation will cost him $1 Million! I’d probably ripped all his wealth before he knows it (Magnulia Melk!).

Enemies are natural part of this microcosm we call life. They bring color to this universe. They will continue to exist, hope has it that they their existence will discontinue once humankind is finally eradicated due to thermonuclear war. I mean, enemies will never do you no harm unless you allow them to. Be strong, and you’ll keep them at bay.